Mom Dreams...Deferred

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Welcome to Reinventing This Shitshow. A podcast for moms who are just trying to make it through the day I'm Millie and I'm Maxine. We're friends. We're moms. We're having a midlife crisis. Join us.

So Mildred. Call me Millie. How the fuck... Oh, sorry. Millie, Millie. How was your week? Tell me, because I didn't really talk to you earlier this week. So what the fuck's going on? Right? Because I refused to talk to you. Because...save it for the podcast.

I know, but really great. Shall we start with, The fact that my back fucking hurts again. Yeah.

everating on it. I am. I am, [: 00:01:00

Anyway. Yeah. So I auditioned for a show locally. it's like a little juke...jukebox musical. Not really my thing. I'm more of like a legit singer, Yeah, always wanted to be good at this stuff, but never really. I just wasn't. I was just not my voice. but it seemed okay. Like I, I did pretty good. Yeah. I got the call back. It was weird because I was the only person at the callback for the role that I was called back for. But I think that's good dudes, like really? Okay. Except they called two other people back. They just weren't there. So I'm not really sure how that works. Like if you don't actually come to [00:04:00] callbacks, like, did they have a separate call back? I don't know. Maybe. It was super fun. I saw a couple of people I've done it before. We did some singing. It was fun. It took me back to like my high school, jazz choir days, you know? Four part harmony, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, it was really fun. So even if I don't get in the show, that was super fun. Oh, Oh, see, you're doing that shit. Like it was just an honor to be nominated. No, but that really was fun because I wasn't sure like. Do I want it really? Do I want to do a show. And that's a good point. You it's been a minute. It's been, it's been a minute. It's been five years. I was supposed to be in Chicago. We were rehearsing. Yeah. I refer, I don't remember what song it was, but we were like crawling, like literally crawling on top of each other. In the middle of COVID. Ew, guys stop. And the director finally was like, you know what? We can't. This, no, we can't do this anymore. Like you guys are breathing like literally sweating and touching each other. You can't do. We're done. And he sent us all home. And that was it. The show was over, like it was, it did not happen. Yeah. [00:05:00] Yeah, which it should not have happened because it was a public health risk, but it made me sad. No, yeah. I kind of. I mean, it just, everything at that time, fucked us all up big time. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway. So anyway, we're waiting to hear. Fingers crossed . Supposed to hear four days ago. Now I'm supposed to hear today. You'll hear. We'll see, you know, it's community theater, everybody's working their asses off. Yeah. Yeah. And doing their best. Yeah. And it is what it is and whatever. I just don't like uncertainty. It's not my thing. No, and you, you know, you have a timeline and you want the timeline to be accurate and you thought you were going to hear today. And so far we haven't. And what the fuck? Right .No, I get it. But, you know what? It's it's going to be good. If I'm in it, that's awesome. If I'm an understudy that might actually be more awesome because I don't have to commit to every single show. True that. ButI think I have to be available for every single show, but not go on. So that might be a weird, I don't know. I feel like understudies work harder sometimes. Yeah, and it would [00:06:00] be there's two understudies for four roles. So. Fuck. Yeah. I don't know that I can handle learning two roles. No, that's a lot. I don't, I don't know that my brain... that's a lot, man. Yeah, I don't know about that. But anyway, so when you're done with your thesis then you can do a show. Listen. You and I had a little chitchat about that earlier. Yeah. And I that's totally how I feel too. I'm gonna have so much fucking free time when I'm done with my dissertation. Like, what the hell am I going to do besides work ? And your...your middle kid. Yeah. Boy two's about to graduate. So then girl is the only one at home because one and two are out. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to have a shit load of time. You're not going to know what to do with yourself. No, and I'm quite comfortable with that. Actually, actually, what's going to happen is this podcast is going to take off. Right. We're not gonna have any time. Because we're going to be like touring and writing books. Because that's what everyone does, right? God. People man, all the fucking [00:07:00] people. I know. I mean, like, I love time if you love people, this isn't for you? No, like, I love you, but like, look, you don't like me to get up in my space, but like, Right. We can stay home and love people. Right. Yeah, but you know, I don't know all my favorite podcasts. They go from podcast. No, no. I mean, look at smartless, you know, like that's literally the only podcast I listen to. They were already famous. Okay. But nobody like they went on tour. I know they were already famous, but they weren't like crazy famous. They were for me. Did they go on tour for Smartless? Yes, it was fucking amazing. That's cool. They. They are the coolest guys on the planet. Oh, yeah, no, I'm sure. Yeah. Sean Hayes. But here's the thing. So like Jason Bateman. Love that motherfucker, my entire life. Will Arnett, too. And Sean Hayes too, but like in different like seasons. Yeah. [00:08:00] And I'm a huge Arrested fan. I'm a huge Will and Grace fan, I'm a huge Ozark fan, even though that fucking show scared the shit out of me. Don't spoil it. I, we watched multiple seasons. Holy fuck nuts. I'm telling you. They took a sabatical and you you know how it happens. You binge binge binge. Now there's a sabbatical. Now you got to re-binge everything. Why aren't you doing that? I don't know. It's rough to watch, but God it's good. My husband and I have not watched anything in six months. We're watching Good Girls right now. I've never seen that. Fucking good. I like good girls. Yeah. It's nothing like that. But you need to watch Good Girls actually, actually you need to watch Good Girls. Yeah. Yeah. It's. Yeah. Yeah. What is that? These? No, I don't want to fucking tell you because you need to know. Okay. Is there a premise that I need to know before? No, no, no, no comedy or. Both. It's a dramedy. Okay. Dramedy. Is it like snarky and.. Yes. Okay. [00:09:00] I'm in. But also suspenseful. It's got it all, man. It's all of it. Okay. So that's, yeah. I didn't even catch up, so we didn't know. So. Okay. So I'm waiting to hear about a show. Yeah, and my back hurts. What about you?

that it was, but it's, it's [: 00:10:00

Yeah. Yeah. So. Let's let's hope right. Let's put it in the universe. All right. So. Today, we kind of talked about this a little bit in our first episode, but we, um, We want to talk about. Our hopes and our dreams, you know, like our dream journals and shit. Well, it is it's dreams deferred. Because we put everything on hold. Yeah, right. Well, and you like right now, you have auditioned for this show. Your background is, I mean, Jesus, you have your masters in musical theater, but that's not what you've been doing. No, not even close. No. And so you've, you've tried to have these moments. Yeah, in that. Fit that shit in. But the reality is what you're a parent. You've got kids. You've got a husband. You've got a job. You've got. [00:12:00] parents you've got siblings. You've got shit, right? Like, yeah. My dream was to be on Broadway, right. I mean dumb as it sounds cause, uh, no, my kids doing that right now, so I totally get it. Well, it's not dumb for him because he's a legit. No, but, but yeah, you set out and you did, as he is, you did. I got, this was what you were doing close. I didn't get as close as some people that I know. but yeah, no, I mean and I, like I have a, a, a girl I worked with a long time ago, she was on Broadway. She was in Avenue Q. She quit to get a real job. Right. Because that's what we all do, right? Because like, Yeah. You accomplished something and then you move on to the next thing. Well, like it has never left me. No. Like, I wanna be on Broadway. I got an arthritic toe and a bad back but, um.

here's a fuck ton of grandma [: 00:13:00

I know, which is delightful. That's it. And I mean, we trav - traveling is another dream of mine. Yeah, this is a whole nother topic, cause we're both afraid to fly. Yeah. Fuck. You're doing so much better with that, than I am. Well, I mean, I got on the plane. Yeah. I went to the hospital when I landed. So, I don't know how much better I am. I completely traumatized husband and two children. Fuck him. Your girls though. I know. Yeah. They've been through a lot. My whole family's been through a lot, which we'll get into later. So dreams. No, I just, I feel like we're on a time clock now. Of course we are. We're going to die. Yeah, but what are your, like, what were your dreams? I don't know, because I think that my dreams have evolved, you know, I, I wanted to be on Broadway too. I wanted to do musical theater. I wanted to do opera. I wanted [00:18:00] to do all of those things. I didn't know you wanted to do opera. Oh yeah. I did that a little bit in college. I didn't know. Yeah, that's actually how I met...the first of my 10,000 husbands. We were in an opera together. You're going to be the old lady with 10,000 husbands. Me and Elizabeth Taylor fuck. You're done. This is the last one. Oh, God. Yeah. I'm not coming to any more weddings. No. And he's the best. To be fair, Dear Listener, I've only been to one of her weddings. But it was the important one. It's the only one that matters. That's the important one. The one that I had to miss turned out... oh, Oh, my God. Let's not even go.

as always into it, but like, [: 00:19:00

NO, but that's it. I mean, When you become a parent. That's who you are, dude. We were fucking parent. It doesn't matter what you were. That's what you are. Yeah. And you have done if it doesn't know. And, and then you have the whole guilt thing, when you do shit for yourself, you feel like an asshole because you're not with your kids. You're not experiencing what they're doing, you're doing your own thing. And I. You know, we all fucking hear that you need the me time. You need to, to be your best self, to be your best parent, blah, blah, blah. But ultimately, you feel like a dick, if you do something for yourself. If your cup's not completely empty you feel like a shitty mom? That is 100% true. The one thing that got me through that a little bit was reminding myself. Maybe it was just a lie. But it was reminding myself that I was modeling to cause I've daughters no [00:23:00] modeling to my children. Right. To my daughters. That moms get to care of themselves too. Yeah.

ed you for everything. Yeah. [: 00:24:00

Bad stuff. And I don't, I don't think that everybody says the bad stuff. It's okay. To, to feel lost and like, I mean, how about, think about like our texts and shit, like, like, holy shit, I can't do this. Like oh, I hate everything.

90% of our texts are either I hate everyone or I hate everything. Right.

But you have to be able to say that.

ple. Well, and I just think. [: 00:25:00

So. You ready to grab the bag? Grab the bag. And find out what we're doing today. Okay. Is going to produce. She's producing, she's producing the goods. Okay, here we go. All right. oh, look. Stuff we hate. God damn. That's my favorite. Listen, I will be here till tomorrow talking about shit that I hate. [00:27:00] Okay. So what do you hate? Stuff we hate. I hate. So many things. I hate, I hate closed minded people. Oh my God. Shut up. Do something like. I mean, that is, I know okay. Can you please say something superficial that you hate? I'm sorry, what do I hate? why don't you start. Okay. I have one because the motherfucker at the gas station today said this to me. And it pisses me off. Every time. I, you know, I'm a delight, I'm a fucking delight. Okay. So.

h, you know, just living the [: 00:28:00

Don't say stupid stuff. So something trivial. Thanks. I hate everything. And why can't I think of anything? oh, I hate getting gas. Oh, yeah. But it doesn't tell it. Doesn't. No, I get my own gas. You know that dent in my car? That's cause I got gas.

That's right. I wasn't paying attention and I hit something.

Yeah, I hate getting gas too, I mean, Brian was bad, but no, because now. The pumps don't work. Right. The pump, please see cashier, excuse me. No, I'm going somewhere else by also, do you know what I hate? Ok, here's something I hate. My husband thinks we'll spend less money if he puts less money into the checking account.

because he thinks if we get [: 00:30:00

Hold on. That's what happens. Actually, I have a story about this shit. So we were at Moffitt. Oh, yes, because,Surprise - I had cancer. Yes, we're going to talk about that. We're going to talk about your cancer, but we were there. We went to a drive through place to get some food. And you. Did I try to buy food and there was no money? It was, it was that place that you love that had, the Greek? Yes, the Greek place. So we went to get. And your fucking debit card was declined. Declined. We are doing your cancer treatments and you can't get your fucking Greek food because your husband didn't put money in the account. I was, that was my favorite thing in the whole world. It's not. The money's there. He just doesn't put it in the account. Right in. So embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah, no, we were there. I'm like, what the fuck is happening? Your card got declined. Then I just use the credit card. Yeah. Wow. He's [00:31:00] an idiot, but that was, I saw that firsthand. I hate that. I also hate the Walmart parking lot. Oh. Walmart period. No offense friends, no offense. Offense. Walmart sucks, but it is God, it's rough. I get so mad if I have to go there. My mother-in-law who is the kindest, gentlest, most patient woman...She's nice...in the world hates Walmart. Here's the thing you. You can't find anything. You have like crack heads in the aisle, you have dirty diapers, you have people beating their kids. You, you know, you're stepping over things. You have people wearing their whale tail swimsuits. Yeah, I know. And they have their jammies on and it's dirty. It's always dirty. There's always some guy on like a crane thing and like a fucking pallet. Cause they're moving the dog food from there to there. I it's too overwhelming for me. I get overstimulated. I hate, I hate shopping for tween clothing. Ooh, that is tough. Especially because my actual teen who is [00:32:00] 14, doesn't want all the pink, girly frilly shit. Well, but it's not even that they all dress like strippers. She doesn't want to dress like a stripper. Or you have to wear Lulu lemon leggings. And some sort of crop top. She wants shorts. Yeah, cause it's a fucking million degrees here all the time. She wants shorts that don't show off her kibbles and bits. No. Good luck. She does not want crop tops. No. But that's all there is. And they're all...Unless you show in the boys section and it doesn't fit her because she's not a boy. No, but that's, they're, they're all sheep too. As part of the problem, like everybody has to wear the same thing. I mean, I think we were like that, were you not like that? No, I wasn't. Listen. I was a trendsetter. Okay. I still am. So no, I was not a fucking sheep.

gs that we hate, although we [: 00:33:00

Hey, I hate this. Don't you hate this? Yes, no. But I think you just get grouchier as you get older, right? Isn't this what happens? We're going to become our grandfathers. You get permission to be grouchy. You know, my dad always says that, which my dad is, you know, a loose cannon anyway, but he. But he says that too, like, you don't need permission to say shit anymore. You just know. Fucking say it. For years, like, as you go. Yeah, but I feel like we're there. Giving shit. You stop. Are we there? Is that where we are? I'm not quite there. I'm getting, very close, though. Maybe I've always been there. No, no, no.

dy. Well. We'll see you guys [: 00:34:00